Thursday, June 5, 2008

Be warned, this isn't going to be pretty.

I just ate a muffin. I big, fluffy, chocolate chip filled, gluteny muffin. Do I regret it? Not yet. Will I later? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. Will I do it again any time soon? Probably not. So why did I do it? The same reason I always eat crappy food - stress. I'm totally stressed out. I'm completely depressed about this gluten free diet. But honestly, what I'm more stressed about than anything else - money. It's expensive to feed yourself these days. It's expensive to do ANYTHING these days. Three years ago I was up to over $21,000 in credit card debt and was paying off a $13,000 car. I put myself on one of those debt management programs and kept up with the car payments. The car is paid off (!) and the debt is down to just over $10,000 (!!) which is really awesome and I'm really proud of myself for coming this far. But being the maid-of-honor in my sister's wedding last year and now my cousin's wedding this year... the money is just flying right out the window. I definitely live paycheck to paycheck, but who doesn't these days right? It's funny because after my last car payment in February I should've gained an extra $260 a month right? Then WHY is my bank account running in the negatives these days???? I suck with money. I am terrible at saving. I have a penny in my pocket, I will surely find a way to spend it...
How did I get from muffins to pennies? I don't know, the bottom line is, I'm stressed. It's the diet. It's the money. It's the stomach. It's the medication. It's the weight gain. It's the clothes not fitting. It's the diet. It's the money. It's a vicious cycle.
I have to get some work done.

1 comment:

Cynthia said...

I hear you on the money woes....