What a week... things are looking up. I can't even tell you how much it helped to blog about my food issues! Well, yes, actually I can, it helped SO much. I find that I've been so much more laid back about what I eat. I find that a lot of my binges are triggered by stress, and a lot of the time that stress is brought on by the desire to eat things I "shouldn't" be eating. When I stopped beating myself up over wanting to eat bad things, I kinda stopped wanting them so much. I've been eating fruit in the morning. I eat some pineapple and I think to myself "wow this tastes so good" and not only that, it feels good too. I rarely say that about the bad foods. I've still been eating junk, but I don't hide it, I don't eat nearly as much of it, and I don't stress about it. If I want something, I have it. It's helped me also to notice more how my body is reacting to the foods. Sugar is so bad! Not natural sugar, I mean cane sugar, HFCS, refined sugars, processed foods. YUCK! Dairy is not so much my friend either. I know these are all things I've known all along, but it's different now, I'm seeing my reactions in a totally different way and somehow it just makes more sense. Water is good. Fruits and veggies are good. Candy is bad. Alcohol is bad. Up until recently I'd been trying to find all these miracle "cures" for IBD like the Specific Carb Diet, the Detox Diet, I've blamed yeast, gluten, dairy, sugars, and tried to cut them all out, or some out, or none out and I wind up bingeing and miserable. I'm done with all that. No more following the rules laid out by someone else. It's too restrictive and makes me miserable. Just listen to my body and if it doesn't like something, don't eat it. I'm going to a party tonight where the only food being served is pizza. If I want to be happy and comfortable for the night, I will eat something at home and not touch that pizza. If I want to be sick all night, I'll go and eat the pizza. Who wants to be sick at a party???? Not me.
This doesn't mean I'm just abandoning the GF diet or anything like that, being gluten-free is the most important to me out of everything else. It's the other things that I'm trying to work on slowly, sugar especially. Last night I went grocery shopping and just kinda wandered around the store, slowly, looking at all the food and thinking carefully about what I wanted to take home with me. I ran into my friend and she asked me if I have a hard time shopping because of my diet and I explained that really, I don't, it's just a matter of making the right choices. Sticking to the perimeter of the store, and avoiding the crap. Rules that everyone should follow, not just the GF'ers!
I tend to go overboard and avoid too many things. I wind up eating nothing but potatoes and eggs. I'm trying to just be smarter, this morning I had one Van's waffle with all fruit spread and nautral peanut butter. Yum! A great start to my day. I was avoiding waffles because I put fake syrup on them but just by changing up my topping I made them so much healthier. I was inspired by my friend who had 4 boxes of Kashi waffles in her cart! She eats them every day.
As far as work is concerned, we've seen a little bit more activity this week which is great. I have realized that I want to be here. I don't want to give up yet. I'm going to try to do everything I can to keep this business alive. But, if that doesn't work out, I definitely would consider going non-profit. I actually used to work at a non-profit and I loved it. Thanks for the links and comments, that was really helpful. I've already looked into a few of them in Boston. But I'm hoping that I won't have to go there just yet. It's been very difficult lately, but I do love what I do here and I want to make sure that my family is taken care of too. I have no idea how to market a business, but I'm gonna throw myself into it head first and hope I come out on top. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome!!!
For now, I'm off to a fun weekend with the people from my part-time gig at the YMCA!! It's gonna be nice and warm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a great weekend everyone!!