Monday, November 16, 2009
Fighting Old Demons
Yes, that's right, my scale is now residing in the trash barrel. As you know I've been counting calories and exercising in an effort to take off some extra pounds. It's been going great, I've felt great, people have noticed and given compliments, I even wore my skinny jeans yesterday! So why then am I so depressed today and feeling the need to binge? Because last Friday I was down 5 lbs on the scale and today those 5 lbs have magically reappeared. How does that happen? I only went over my calorie allotment two days out of seven and not over nearly enough to cause a 5 pound gain! UUUGGGGGHHHHH. This is the beginning of a VERY vicious cycle that I've been through many many times before. You might remember the post I wrote back in February about it during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Since that post I have done a great job of eating well, not bingeing, not eating in secret, not falling back into the trap of disordered eating. Not one week into "dieting" here I am feeling that familiar pang. I lost and then gained back 5 pounds, this is useless, it's not worth it, LET ME EAT CAKE!
NO. Not this time. I am NOT going back there. GOODBYE SCALE! You will haunt me no more. One of the issues of calorie counting is that it's easy to just eat whatever you want, as long as you stay within the numbers. But the key to lasting weight loss and optimum health is not eating less, it's eating better. Make the right choices. Which I am a lot better at these days. Last week I cooked a lot, I ate very well, I felt great. Saturday and Sunday I ate at an arena, a diner, and at my mom's (aka Candyland) and ordered takeout. It's no wonder with the amount of sodium and sugar I consumed over the last couple of days that I quickly gained back 5 lbs. The weekends are tough, there's no doubt about it, it's a matter of being prepared, making good choices as much as you can and then keeping it super clean during the week.
I'm still doing yoga almost every day. I love it. Today I wasn't really feeling it but now that I've written it out I feel better. Lasting change doesn't happen overnight. It's taken me 7 years just to get to this point, and even though it doesn't seem like I've made it that far, the truth is, I really have.