Friday, May 29, 2009


Normal. That's what the letter said. All labs are NORMAL. Just like that. She didn't have to yell at me... or maybe she's just excited, YAY! You are NORMAL!! Despite the fact that you have a diseased bowel of course...

The good news is, Celiac disease is officially out of the picture for me. And I'm not intolerant to fructose, now that is something to celebrate! And it doesn't look like I'm intolerant to lactose either. Which still leaves the question of a dairy (casein) allergy out there. I'm not sure if I'll get tested for that. I think really the next step would be an Elisa or Alcat test. Do I really want to go there? Meh. I'm kinda over all these tests. I already know what foods irritate me. The bottom line is this. I have Crohn's disease. It's moderate to severe. Some foods make it act up. I need to avoid those. Sounds pretty simple. I haven't had a rash in months. That is huge. There is no better way to figure out what's bothering me than to just listen to my body. It will be the first to tell me if something is making me sick. I know what those things are now. I'm ok with all of this now. I'm settled. I think all of my questions have been answered. I think it's time to just stop pushing and settle back into a normal routine. I need that. So badly. It's exhausting being so obsessive. I'm tired of it. I just want to relax. I think that's just what I'll do for awhile...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Cupcakes that don't hurt, who woulda thunk?

Last night I was down in the dumps. I had eaten poorly throughout the day, went home, and curled up on my couch to watch tv. My roommate came home shortly after and walked into the living room with a big box and says "who want's early birthday presents???" and I'm like... what?? What is that?? So I open it and inside I find....

(sorry for the crappy pics, used my small camera, sans flash, and didn't feel like photoshopping)

I was SO excited!!!! Babycakes!!!! She had no idea that I'd been eyeing this stuff for a while now. She just was looking online for cupcakes that were dairy free since the local joints only seem to sell gluten-free, but dairy filled, cupcakes. Needless to say, I dove right in.

I got three flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and carrot. They also sell red velvet which I would like to try someday. They came all individually wrapped with a jar of vanilla frosting on the side:


Babycakes Frosting

I tried the chocolate first of course, as you all know, chocolate is my weakness!

Babycakes Chocolate Cupcake

It was very dense, not light and fluffy, but it had good flavor. The frosting was delicious. I had been looking for a CF buttercream recipe but hadn't tried any yet. I'm so glad I didn't bake the other night! I tried the vanilla next, definitely not your traditional vanilla cupcake, it kinda reminded me of a Dunkin Donuts plain donut. I froze half the dozen and will eat the other half quickly I'm sure.

If you're not familiar with Babycakes, they are a vegan bakery in New York. They sell many gluten-free selections as well as baked goods that are made with spelt (a gluten grain). Check out their website for more info!

Today is my actual birthday (29!) and my very first birthday wish was sent at 8:15 this morning from none other than... the boy. Totally awesome.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I love suprises.

Lactose test in the morning, and then when I get back, get ready for my post about my birthday surprise.... I'll give you a hint, it's delicious. My roommate really topped last year's birthday surprise.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm such a girl.

Have I really not posted since last Thursday, date day? Just proves that I'm crazy. Allow me to explain. The date went very well. Very very well indeed. The long weekend was coming up and although I knew that he was too busy, I hoped (too much so) that I'd get to see him. You see, he's moving this coming weekend and not only did he have to go to a couple of BBQ's over the long weekend but he also had to pack. By himself. All his stuff. And he'll be packing the rest of this week and moving next weekend. He said it would be hard to find time to see me, but if he could, he'd call and we'd try to figure something out. He hasn't called. So clearly, I'm going out of my mind, thinking he just doesn't like me anymore. When clearly in his mind, he's thinking we discussed it, I'm cool, and he'll call me when he can. Little does he know.. I'M NOT COOL. Oh yeah, I claim to be "laid back" and "easy going" and all that stuff we say we are to get them hooked. But what he doesn't know that inside this crazy brain of mine, I've already got him dating 3 other girls behind my back. Ok not really. And I actually am pretty laid back, after the initial "are we dating or are we not dating" period is over. But this beginning stuff? I don't handle it well. I just like to skip this part!!

Anyway. I have no intention of turning this blog into my personal dating life blog. I actually try to stay away from all the personal stuff that's not diet related. I just am consumed by this dating thing right now so it's all I've got to talk about.

I haven't heard any results from my Celiac or fructose tests yet. My lactose test is Thursday morning.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Anxiety sets in.

I've been calm all day and I just looked at the clock and noticed it's quarter of 2. Only 3 hours left before I get to race home, get cleaned up, and meet my date for dinner. This is just about the time when my stomach starts to get all fluttery.. oh yep, there it is! Starts in the gut and then it's like an electric current throughout my body.

Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement. I think that I will keep quiet, unless the subject comes up, for now. See how tonight goes, and then we'll go from there. Now what am I going to wear?!?! It's really hot out and I haven't had a chance to evaluate what's left of last year's summer clothes. I do know that there isn't much to pick from unfortunately, and I don't have time to go shopping.

And then, tomorrow morning, Fructose test. I have to get up at 5am... yuck!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Here's a topic to ponder...

Ok ladies, (and gents, if I even have any male readers anymore???) here's something I'd love to get your input on. When you meet someone new, how quickly do you divulge your health issues? Typically, unless it comes up in discussion for some reason, I don't mention it. If I'm out to eat with people that don't know, and I'm having trouble ordering, then yeah it comes up. And I'm pretty open about it because I want to raise awareness. I think it's important to talk about, obviously, that's why I blog. But I don't think it's something to bring up at a BBQ, kind of a buzz kill sometimes. Unless said BBQ is with a group of your favorite gluten-free girls.... oooh a GF BBQ sounds like fun, girls?!?!

Well, more specifically I'm talking about dating. If you're diagnosed while in a relationship it's pretty open knowledge right? So what if you're single and out in the dating scene? For the past two years, I've basically avoided dating while I got my health in order. Now that I'm well on my way to healing, I'm knee deep in dates. And there's this guy.... we've only been on one date so far, but it lasted 6 hours. In the middle of the day. Kinda like 2 dates in one almost. And we're going out again on Thursday. I haven't said anything to him yet. I'm afraid of scaring him off. I doubt it would, but still, I don't have a lot of practice telling my dates that I 1. have an incurable disease, and 2. can't eat most of the same stuff they can. I figure it will come out when the time is right. I'm not shy. I'm sure he'll be fine, he's an awesome, super nice guy. It's not like I'm telling him I have herpes.... (sorry if any of you do..)

So yeah, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Leave a comment. Send a message. Tell me what you think!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Baby Steps

I just made my appointments for my lactose and fructose breath tests. This Friday I go in at 8am for the fructose test. It's a 3 hour long test at which time I have to swallow a solution and then blow into a bag a bunch of times. Same thing for the lactose which is next Thursday at 7am (which also happens to be my BIRTHDAY!!). So I should know by the end of the month whether or not I am gluten, lactose and/or fructose intolerant. Awesome! I'm really looking forward to settling into some sort of normalcy soon.

My long weekend was awesome. And now I have another one to look forward to! I love Memorial Day Weekend!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Two Steps Forward

I'm back from the New Doc!! It went exactly the way I hoped it would. She was awesome. She spoke very highly of my current doc, but completely understood where I was coming from with diet issues. She said there's no doubt in her mind that I'm dairy intolerant, and she said even if my Celiac test comes back negative, I'm probably gluten intolerant too anyway. She ordered a Celiac gene test so that should tell me for sure. But regardless, the message of today was, you should probably just avoid gluten anyway. Celiac or not. I'm going in for breath tests to see if I'm in fact lactose intolerant and also to see if I'm fructose intolerant. I didn't even know there was such a thing but I won't be surprised if it's positive. How many times have I said that sugar is not my friend? Basically, when talking about what I should and should not eat, she outlined the Specific Carb Diet, without actually referencing it, which is something I'd mentioned a bunch of times here too. That doesn't mean I'm going to dive head first into the SCD, that's totally grain free, but what I'm doing is pretty close.

She also showed me again my colonoscopy results and gave me more details. There is definitely narrowing of the terminal ileum, and significant ulceration, as well as a fistula. She stressed again, just as The Doc has, that my Crohn's is in the moderate to severe category and that I must stay on my medication. Fine with me! And also mentioned Remicade if things get any worse. I hoped I'd never hear that name, and I really hope it will never get that far. I think if I do what I'm supposed to do and keep my diet strict, I will be ok. She said I've probably had Crohn's all my life and it's very unfortunate that the doctor's didn't listen sooner. But I didn't complain enough either, anyway it doesn't matter, it's getting taken care of now!

So I feel a lot better. She's keeping The Doc in the loop with the tests that she ordered, and she said I can take some time and decide if I want to stick with him or switch to her. It's completely up to me. The thought was that maybe once The Doc saw how serious I was about counting diet as a part of my treatment plan, he might change his strategy, and I could also start seeing a nutritionist. I'm going to think about it. I don't have another appointment until July. First and foremost I want to see my test results. Imagine if I'm fructose intolerant too???? Oy.

Ok, it's time for my long weekend!!!!!

A Challenge for You!

My birthday is coming up. I'm turning 29 for the first time!! I need to find a decadent chocolate cake recipe that is gf/cf and also a frosting recipe. If any of you have one, or have seen one, I'd love to hear about it. I'll be searching the blogs this weekend!

And the clouds rolled in, just in time for the long weekend.

I'm leaving work in one hour to head up to see the New Doc!!!! Finally the day has arrived!! I hope this goes well.... I will update later.

This morning I signed up to be a Daring Cook! I've always loved the Daring Bakers but I didn't want to bake all the time since everyone around me is trying to lose weight (myself included!). And now that they've just started up the Daring Cooks I just had to join in the fun. Can't wait to see what my first assignment will be! If you're interested in becoming a Daring Baker or Cook, check out The Daring!

I also have some exciting things in the works, an article, new products, recipes... this blog should be gearing back up very quickly! Stay tuned! Next week will be one year since Crohn's diagnosis. I can't believe it's been a year. I have achieved so much in the past year and I still have a journey ahead, but hopefully the really hard part is over!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Diet what?

:SIGH: I was doing so well on my "diet" the last two weeks. And then I said SCREW THIS and went all nutso, eating whatever I could get my hands on. This is so typical for me. But instead of throwing in the towel this time I'm just gonna pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on track. I need to lose this weight, I hate the way I look right now!

I've been frustrated lately with clothes. I like to look nice, but I'm kinda tired of looking like everyone else, you know? I go shopping and buy cute clothes and then I sit down on the train this morning and the girl sitting next to me looks exactly the same. Dark blue jeans, red jacket. I bought this awesome red trench coat that looks great on me, and then I walk around and see a million other girls wearing trench coats. I went out for drinks last week with two girls and they both were dressed exactly alike. Cute black tops, dark blue trouser jeans, and peep toe black wedges. I bought really cute sandals over the weekend. They are kinda platform/chunky and I haven't worn those kind of shoes in years. I'm 6' tall.. these shoes make me about 6'2 or 6'3. I didn't used to have a problem with that but I've been wearing flats for so long, no I feel like a giant when I wear those shoes. But I love them and will not return them.

I know this post is totally not gf/cf related...

On that note, my docs appt is tomorrow!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Pity Party, Table for One!

I am having a cranky day. One of those I want to be able to eat whatever I want kind of days. I know you all know what I'm talking about. I'm stressed out, tired, annoyed, frustrated and all I want to do is eat a blizzard from the Dairy Queen, filled with oreos, hot fudge, and mint... oooh yum. I finally feel like I'm out of the fog that I was in last week, which is great, but I'm at the point where I know that going completely dairy and gluten free is just around the corner and I'm REBELLING! I've been dairy free. But eating gluten again has been awesome. Up until recently when my hips started to hurt again, my energy level dipped way down, and I started to feel that all over exhaustion setting in. My appointment with the new doc is Thursday. My ultimate goal is to get off all meds and be gf/cf for one solid year to see where I'm at 12 months from now. That's all I want! Is that really too much to ask?? I don't think so. I'd do it myself but I can't come off the medication without proper doctor supervision because my immune system could go completely bonkers. I really hope she's cooperative!

On Mother's Day we always celebrate my Grandfather's birthday. Yesterday was his 75th. He's been battling shingles for a while now and he wasn't feeling much better yesterday. I'm worried about him, I hope he gets better soon!! It was difficult sitting there with 2 cakes and 3 kinds of ice cream sitting in front of me but if that's all I have to worry about then I'm in good shape. I brought some Pamela's cookies for myself. My uncle took them right out from in front of me and almost ate them! I was like what are you doing?? Those are my special cookies!!! Doesn't anyone understand?!?!?!

Friday, May 8, 2009


Kim over at Gluten-Free is Life nominated me for an Attitude of Gratitude award!! Thank You Kim!!! It's my first blog award and I am honored. Sorry it took me so long to post this, but as you've all noticed, posting has been slow lately. Today I have received a lot of support and words of encouragement and so I thought it would be great to put this post up today, even though I already posted once. The instructions are:

  • put the logo on your blog or post
  • nominate at least 10 blogs that show an an attitude of gratitude
  • link to your nominees within your post
  • comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve received this award
  • share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for the award
  • tell us how you’ve come to have an attitude of gratitude
The years I've spent dealing with my digestive issues have been long and difficult, and if it weren't for this blogging community, I don't know what I would've done! I am so grateful to all of you out there that blog and share your stories with the world. I'm also grateful to all of you that come back here week after week and read my blog. I am happy to be able to help in any way I can and the response I get is amazing. I could spend a month listing people that I'm thankful for, but I won't. So just know that each of you that reads this blog deserves this award! I know that's cheap, sorry guys, but I know most of you that I would nominate would not want to type out this long thing and do all the linking etc, either. But I really do appreciate it, and all of you!

The long road to recovery.

My appointment with the new doc is less than a week away... HALLELUJAH!!! I'm getting over yet another UTI. The good news is, I didn't land in the ER this time!! First time in two years that an infection/illness hasn't landed me on the bathroom floor and subsequently hooked up to an IV. I'm getting better, finally! Unfortunately, I had a nasty reaction to the antibiotic that they put me on and was down for 4 days straight. I missed most of my cousin's son's first communion. I don't mind missing three days of work though! I'm still feeling a little funky, but my gut (pardon) is telling me that it's the gluten. I've been dairy free for over a month now and at first it was all sunshine and rainbows and then lately I've been starting to feel that fuzzy, brain foggy, yucky feeling. The backaches. The general digestive discomfort. It's so mild that it's almost ignorable, but it's nagging at me just enough to make me want to cut it out immediately. I still want to wait until after I see the new doc anyway.

I got an awesome email today from a new blog reader. She was diagnosed with Crohn's 20 years ago and it wasn't until a year ago, when she took her son for a consult about his possible ADHD symptoms, that she was told that they both should try a gf/cf diet. It sounds like it was just what they both needed, and was really encouraging to me. I have to say that most Crohn's patients are told that diet has nothing to do with it so they suffer and it's really sad and frustrating to me. Doctors just keep pumping us full of medications that don't work, and then say they don't know what else to do. Surgery is usually the next step, and even that is usually not a fix. We're told it's a chronic disease, it's permanent, there's nothing they can do. But I firmly believe that with the proper nutritional guidance, it can be significantly helped, if not cured! I am sure with all of my being that I will be healthy again some day. Look at the progress I've made so far! I'm determined to get there. I hope that others out there that are reading this and can't figure out how to get better will take what I say to heart. Try it. What have you got to lose? It's not going to hurt you to cut out dairy, or gluten, or whatever it is that triggers your symptoms, I promise. And you just might be very surprised at the results!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Taking a break...

Sorry for the lack in posts folks, I'm down with a little infection, nothing serious but I'm also experiencing side effects from the antibiotics. So needless to say, I'm laying on the couch watching tv instead of writing blogs. Hopefully I'll be back to posting soon! The good news, I'm down a total of 7 lbs since starting back on my "diet." :) Hope you all are well.