Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Well I don't know if they do this for everyone, but when I woke up from the drug induced "nap" after the procedure, I was greeted with a printout of the results. Complete with photos. Of my colon. The inside of it. Ulcers and all. I'm assuming that this afternoon when I go visit The Doc he's going to make me relive the horror of looking at my own damaged insides so that he can show me exactly what's wrong with me. I hadn't actually thought about this until right now and I have to be honest, I'm having a hard time keeping my breakfast down. Remind me not to eat a late lunch.. my appointment is at 3:50.
Last night I threw myself an "I can't eat anything delicious anymore" pity party. I went to Jimmy's and got myself a BLT sub, side of fries and an orange soda. You might be thinking, that doesn't sound so bad, you totally could've done better for a last supper. I have to say I agree with that, but I'm broke, didn't have a dining partner, and was in a hurry to be home to watch Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. Here's the kick in the stomach: while I was waiting for my food to be ready, I went next door to Tedeschi's and picked up a pint of Dove's Give In to Mint ice cream. Just one last pint I thought to myself.
Growing up, my mom would cook dinner for the family every night. And every night I would be the first to sit down, fill up my plate, and devour everything on it before anyone else even had a chance to sit down. Eventually, this became known as "The Hoover Maneuver". I'm not kidding. My own parents came up with this. The scars are deep. It hurts. Well last night I was back to my old tricks. I managed to take down that sub, fries and ice cream in record time. The pain that ensued was horrific. See here's the thing, sometimes I can pull something like that off and it hardly at all bothers me. And sometimes I do this and then I feel as though I will die at any moment from the intense pain. Last night was one of those nights.
Well finally we've arrived at follow-up day and I couldn't be happier. I seriously hope he doesn't want me to have any more tests done because I can't keep this up. Just let me go gluten-free and lactose-free and sign me up for a follow-up in another 3 months. You can even prescribe me some meds if you so choose. I'll even take them, I promise. For 3 months I'm at your mercy, whatever you tell me to do, I'll do it. Not like the last time when the other "what do you want me to tell you" GI told me to cut out lactose and eat healthier. Yeah obviously that didn't work.
I'll be back later with the results of my visit with The Doc! Happy Friday everyone! It's a long weekend!!!!!!!!!!!